We Think This Is Desirable In A Partner, But It Isn’t

We have to admit it: we’re all confused. When it comes to finding our other half, we have certain ideas about the way they should be. And it’s not just a kind heart we’re after, but certain personality and appearance characteristics we find desirable in a partner. In practice, though, we might change our minds.

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Why These Things We Consider Desirable In A Partner Don’t Work In Practice

Every day, we are bombarded with ideal people and relationships on TV and just about everywhere. So much so, we might even forget about our own wants and needs in the process. Here are some of the characteristics we may think we want our partner to have, and why it’s all a fallacy.

First of all, we imagine a partner who’s very active and adventurous. She will be the incentive we need to get up from our couch and out into the wild, climbing mountains and sailing uncharted waters and jumping off bridges all over the world. But what would happen if that person did turn up in our lives? Would we be prepared to change the way we see a romantic date (popcorn and the movies, anyone?) for an adventure? Some of us might be ready for this change, but some may prefer the old, far more comfortable, drink at the bar instead.

We may also think it’d be nice to find someone who won’t be as much hard work as our previous partner who always had their own ideas and wanted to be in control of things. A more submissive partner, if you will. What if we found one such person, though? If she always went along with our plans and said “yes” to our every desire, would we not end up feeling bored and completely uninterested?

Another trait we might wish our partner possessed would be the willingness to be with us all the time. Even though in the early stages of a relationship we may wish there were a way to glue ourselves to our partner, as things progress we all need air to breathe. So, despite our initial craving to be joined at the hip with our partner, we would most probably suffocate if we were deprived of personal space and time.

Last but not least, who doesn’t want their partner to be drop-dead gorgeous, right? Wrong. Not all people can withstand the pressure of going out with an extremely beautiful partner. It takes a lot of self-confidence and trust in your partner to overcome the jealousy and inferiority complex that may stem from walking into a room only to have all eyes fixed on your partner. Are you sure you can really handle it?

It’s only natural and healthy to have certain standards about the things we find desirable in a partner, but we should also remember to value each person for who they are and know that a coin always has two sides. There is no such thing as perfection.