How You Make Decisions In A Relationships Makes All The Difference

How do you make the greatest decisions in your life? Do you consciously move on with things or do you let life lead you to the biggest relationship transitions? looks into the two greatest approaches and draws conclusions. looks into the different ways people make decisions about their lives.
How do you make your life decisions? Do You Make Life Decisions Or Slide Into Them?

According to Scott Stanley, Ph.D. and Galena Rhoades, Ph.D., in a report titled “Before I Do” (sponsored by The National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia), which looked into the history of relationships and the changes that have taken place over the years, people used to form relationships and make personal commitments a lot differently than they do today.

After surveying over one thousand American couples, they found that just a couple of generations ago couples made the decision to get married, cohabitate, and have children in a much more controlled and conscious way than they do now.

Nowadays, they tend to just let life lead them through the different stages of their relationships and not pay much attention to what’s happening. Thus, instead of making careful steps in a calculated way, thinking ahead of moving on with things, they slide into these transitions almost unconsciously.

Speaking In Numbers

To be precise, about 90% of couples have sex before marriage, and 40% of babies are born to unmarried parents. Also, today the vast majority of couples choose to cohabitate before marriage. In reality, couples tend to quite unintentionally slide into a marriage, thinking it’s the “logical” step instead of something they desire to do or have given a lot of thought to before going ahead.

The Best Way Forward

Which is the best way to go about things if you want a happy and long-lasting relationship, though? Dr. Scott Stanley and Galena Rhoades reported that “couples who make intentional decisions regarding ‘major relationship transitions’ are more likely to flourish than those who slide through transitions. For instance, among those who cohabited, couples who decided to live together before marriage in an intentional way are more likely to enjoy happy marriages, compared to couples who just slid into cohabitation before marriage.”

In a YouTube video, Dr. Stanley advises: “Decisions are important because decisions set up better follow through. When you’ve decided about something instead of letting it happen to you, you’re much more intentional about what you’re doing, what it means to you, and how you’re going to behave after you let that transition happen. So you are coming up in a transition that matters. These decisions can affect your whole life. We encourage you to be intentional rather than just let things happen to you.”

How you make your life decisions is ultimately up to you, but we really hope that has helped you towards doing what’s right for you.