Do You And Your Partner Speak The Same Love Language?

When you buy her a present, when she fills your tax returns, when you tell each other how much you admire your work and when you hold her hand as you walk down the street, in reality, you are both showing your love for each other in various different ways. These ways to express your love have been put into 5 categories, each describing a different love language.

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Explaining The Different Kinds Of Love Language

In his best-selling book “The 5 Love Languages”, American author Gary Chapman sets out to explain how we express our love for our partners in various ways every day.  The 5 categories (love languages) he describes are:

Physical touch. Physical affection, from the softest touch to love making, is a way to show love and affection without saying a word. Some people are more tactile than others, but everyone needs the intimate touch of their partner.

Words of affirmation. Simple words that show admiration and encouragement are a way to show our partner that we have faith in them and want them to continue being as awesome as we already believe they are. Next time she tells you “well done” for something you did, bear in mind she is also saying “I love you”.

Giving gifts. A gift isn’t just an object; it is a token of love and appreciation. This is, even more, the case with gifts that are well thought of, gifts that are custom-made or cover a need we have for something. It doesn’t have to be your birthday or a special occasion, some partners find gift-giving as a good opportunity to express their love.

Spending quality time. If your partner is super-attentive when you talk and makes it her business to give you her undivided attention when you’re together, it may not just be that what you are saying is of interest to her, but the fact that she really cares about you. When the pace of life is so hectic, yet she finds the time for you, this is her speaking her own love language.

Acts of service. Some people aren’t that good with words, and prefer to show their love through acts of service. It may be small and everyday things, like picking up the grocery for you or cooking your favorite meal, rather than big fancy gestures, but you should appreciate them and recognize them as another kind of love language.

Do We Need To Find A Partner Who Speaks The Exact Same Love Language As Us?

Even though it would be ideal to find a partner with whom you speak the same love language, you shouldn’t make it a prerequisite (it’s already hard enough finding someone we are compatible with in other areas). Luckily, learning your partner’s love language is something that can be done once you observe and recognize it. Like any ‘normal’ language we learn, learning your partner’s love language will widen your horizons and offer you a better understanding of reality.

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