Life-changing Things All Divorced People Wish They Knew Before
With around 40% of marriages in the U.S.A. reportedly ending in divorce, there are lessons to be drawn from people who have been through this life-altering experience. This is what divorced people wish someone had told them before.
Divorced People Want You To Know This
There is nothing like experience to teach people lessons. Second-hand experience may not be the same as getting to live things first-hand, but it’s good to listen to someone who knows what they are talking about rather than assume things.
It isn’t just her you will say goodbye to.
Be prepared to lose more than your partner. With your divorce, you will have to part ways with other people that you love too. Her family, for starters. They are the first casualties, as they are the first ones who will have to take sides – and we all know whose side they will have to take. Then, expect to lose some common friends who will also have to choose between you and her. Some will choose her. Deal with it.
You will remember her in the weirdest of places.
In the supermarket line, in the park, you took your dog for walks, in the cinema you used to hang out – in the immediate period after your separation you will be reminded of the smallest details of your common life. Have your hankies ready, there will be tears shed when you least expect them to. It’s absolutely normal and happens to everyone, don’t feel bad about it.
You’ll most likely form a rebound relationship.
More often than not, people coming out of a super serious relationship or a marriage are quick to form a rebound relationship that sometimes ends up being the step towards their next really big and serious relationship. Keep this one as light as possible and be honest about your intentions. No reason to look for the next wife in the coming months after your divorce – it’s perfectly fine to just look for company and to have harmless fun.
Your relationship with your ex doesn’t have to be hostile and ugly forever.
If the divorce was consensual and neither of you has done the dirty on the other, you can still be on speaking terms, if not friendly with each other. When time passes and you have both moved on in your lives, you will find that only the good times you had together will matter and the bitterness will slowly fade.
There is not just one person out there who is right for us.
Divorced people who found love again will tell you that in fact there is more than one person out there for us. Despite the romantic notion of The One, there are quite a few people life will bring our way with whom we could be together in a happy relationship. It is all about timing and the chances we take. Don’t get caught up in the idea you lost your one and only chance at love because there really are plenty more fish in the sea.
A divorce is never pleasant, but like all life experiences, it is invaluable in making us better people. Listening to what people who have been through it already have to say is important, so this insight coming from divorced people can be extra useful.