The Stages Of Breakup And How To Survive Them
So, you have fought tooth and nail to make it work, made all the compromises in the world and spent hours thinking about it and discussing how it may be salvaged, but to no avail. Your breakup is a fact. You can feel the end of your relationship is near and fear you won’t be able to survive it. The bad news is, you are about to experience the various stages of breakup accompanied by heartache. The good news is, knowing what to expect can actually help you come out of it a stronger person.
Know What To Expect In Your Stages Of Breakup
You can’t escape the heartache, but expecting to go through these stages will make things better.
Denial
Expect the first days after the breakup to feel like you’ve been hit by a bus. Your feelings will be extra strong and your brain will put into force a defense mechanism to help you cope with the multitude of feelings: denial. You will be in pain, but at the same time, you won’t be able to accept that your relationship is over. While hoping is not a bad thing, try to be realistic so as to come to terms with the truth as soon as possible to save yourself the disappointment if things don’t turn out how you are hoping they will.
Anger
It is natural to feel stressed and afraid when you lose what was familiar and safe. Soon, these feelings will turn into anger, as you wonder what brought the relationship to an end; what you didn’t do right or what your ex-partner failed to appreciate about you. This is the process through which you begin to realize the situation that brought you there, and you’ll likely be forced to admit some uncomfortable truths. You will start reliving things in your head and looking for the person who should take the blame for the breakup and your heartache. It is important to remember, however, that a breakup is never down to one partner only.
Negotiation
At this stage, you will feel willing to do anything to try and win back your ex. You will wish you could turn back time and think all the “would haves” and “could haves” in the world, only to refuse to accept it’s all over. You will start missing your ex-partner and might even make an effort to win her back. Nevertheless, you should realize that there is no way forward if you don’t accept the truth. The longer you hang on to hope, the worse. This is when you should let go and cry, express your pain, talk about it with friends and get to grips with the breakup.
Depression
Just when you thought you were beginning to get over the breakup, comes this sinking feeling, depression. You are finding it impossible to do the basic things, like getting up in the morning or taking a shower. Suddenly, life makes no sense. And you are sure you’ll never love or be loved again. This is probably the hardest part of the breakup. This is when you will need to master all your inner strength and hope. Remember you are not the only one going through it and do your best to feel positive. It’s all going to be alright after this is over. Make sure you are surrounded by all the love and support you can get at this stage, you will need a strong support mechanism.
Acceptance
It won’t happen in a minute and it won’t happen in a day. But you will wake up one day and find that you have survived this. A week/month/year will have passed and you will realize life is possible without her. Slowly, you will be able to find happiness in the things you do alone or with people you had no time to notice before. And you will feel ready to look around you again.
If you have ever truly loved someone, she will be in your heart forever, but after you have been through these stages of breakup you will know fully well that you are strong enough to face life and capable of appreciating its beauty again.
After all, in the words of famous Colombian writer Gabriel Garcia Marquez “Nobody deserves your tears, but whoever deserves them, will not make you cry”.
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