Is It Ever OK To Leave In The Middle Of A Date?
Any adult who’s single now or has been single for some time in their life can attest to the fact that dating can be fun and scary in equal measure. When it is fun, it is amazing. You get this fuzzy feeling inside, your head is buzzing with excitement, and you hone your flirting skills discovering sides of you that you didn’t even know were there. But when it’s bad, it can be absolutely dreadful. This is when the question arises: when is it legit to walk out in the middle of a date?
When Walking Out Of A Date Is Perfectly Alright
Your mom has taught you to be polite and a perfect gentleman. You really want to have a clear conscience at all times, but when these things happen, you just need to walk out.
Case #1 She has lied to you. Depending on the level and significance of the lie, you can excuse her and stay or excuse yourself out of the date. If she has shown you a picture of herself 5 years ago and now she’s a little chubbier, it might be understandable how she might have felt uncomfortable. If she has shown you a picture of herself 10 years ago, however, or a picture that’s not even her; things are different. If she’s told you she is a nuclear physicist when she is a waitress, this also makes your leaving justified. You owe time to no one.
Case #2 She’s insulting. If you find that her behavior during the date is insulting, either to you or someone else (the waiter, for example), you would be absolutely forgiven for letting her know she is not making you feel comfortable and leaving. Not being compatible with someone is one thing, but allowing them to belittle you or others around you is not Ok at all.
Case #3 You find out you’re the 3rd person. In a situation where the supposedly single person you’re on a date with turns out not to be single at all, you have the right to walk out without any further analysis. If you wanted to be the third person in a relationship, you should have the right to make that decision before the actual date.
Case #4 She gets touchy-feely and it’s making you uncomfortable. Even though some (limited) touching is ok on a first date if she starts touching you in ways that make you uncomfortable, make up some sort of excuse and leave. Your personal space should be respected at all times, and a date should not make you feel under pressure.
Case #5 She’s a racist. Love knows no boundaries, and if she doesn’t know that, then that’s too bad. There’s no reason to discuss it, try to reason with her or try to explain. Leaving her high and dry is a life lesson in itself.
In the cases mentioned above, leaving in the middle of a date is not about being impolite. It is about having self-respect and staying within your own personal boundaries. Sometimes all you need to do is say “Thanks, but no thanks”.