Too Much Self-Protection Can Have This Effect On Your Relationship
When we were younger, we were always taught to protect ourselves from the most basic of dangers. We were taught, for example, not to play with fire because our fingers could get burned. As we grow up, we developed a sense of self-protection because of the hurts and pains that we have experienced.
The Truth Is Self-Protection Can Do More Harm Than Good
Self-protection is just our natural response to everything that hurts us, may it be a situation or a person. However, if we don’t come to terms with why we are protecting ourselves too much, it can affect our relationships negatively. Here are a few examples of how this can happen:
1. We become distant.
Emotionally, we withdraw because we don’t want to get hurt. This can stop us from finding a real kind of love. We are not willing to show our weaknesses because we think that the other person will not be so accepting. When we’re already in a relationship, this can hinder us from moving forward.
2. Nit-picking becomes a hobby.
When your self-protection is on a higher level, you don’t want to get hurt first. This is why it’s likely for you to get nit-picky. You’re keeping your eyes peeled for any signs that tell you your partner doesn’t care about the relationship. Even the most innocent action can be interpreted negatively.
3. Trust flies out of the window.
Nit-picking on tiny mistakes can go hand in hand with not having enough trust in your partner. Whether it is in the matter of fidelity or responsibility, when you’re protecting yourself too much, you always have to think of the worst. Trust instantly flies out of the window.
The Better Approach
It is totally normal to have a certain level of self-protection, but if you take it to an extreme, you can’t expect your relationship to last long. A good solution to this would be to talk to a counselor so you can come to terms with what happened in your past.
Sad to say, you won’t be able to move forward even if you wanted to have serious relationships. You have to focus on yourself first so you’re ready when the right person comes along. For more tips and self-development, read other posts on our blog.