A Healthy Way To Deal With Anger During An Argument
Whenever you get into an argument with your significant other, how do you deal with anger? This is a common emotion whenever couples fight. And, most of the time, a lot of us don’t handle anger in the healthiest way. We choose to let all our emotions out, blowing up in front of our partner, or simply shutting everything down.
Deal With Anger In A Way That Can Benefit You As A Person
You, first, have to understand that anger is a natural emotion. You cannot stop anger from happening. However, as mentioned previously, you can deal with anger or manage it in a way that’s beneficial for yourself, for your partner and your relationship. Here’s how you do it:
1. Notice how you feel as your partner is speaking.
The more words you digest, the clearer it will be for you to point out how your partner’s words made you feel. You’re going to use these observations later for an honest and calm conversation.
2. Notice your own knee-jerk reaction.
It’s not just your partner’s words that you need to observe. You also need to notice how you reacted as your partner was speaking angrily. Did you raise your voice? Did you slam an object on a table? Again, you’re going to have to own up to these when you have that conversation afterward.
3. Identify your intention.
Why are you fighting or arguing in the first place? Identify the main reason and then move forward from there. Set a specific intention, next. Do you want to tell your partner that you were hurt? Do you want to tell your partner that there’s a better way to resolve issues without fighting?
4. Have the conversation.
When the dust clears, you have to have that conversation we mentioned in item #1 and #2. Repeat your observations from the first three steps. For example:
“The way you talk to me makes me feel unimportant. That’s why I responded by saying words I did not mean. I hope we can focus on how we can deal with anger in a better way.”
Experts say that when you repeat your observations from the first three steps, your partner will most likely put his or her guard down. You’re allowing the willingness to see things from your perspective into your talk. Practice these four steps and let us know how this benefited your relationship. For more tips, read the rest of our blog.