Are You Doing Too Much Emotional Labor?
Every relationship needs work. Whether it was made through online dating or other means, the success or longevity does not simply happen overnight. Each party should put effort into every aspect of the relationship to keep it going. But sometimes, one exerts more emotional labor than the other and it can lead to dissatisfaction.
Signs That Point To You Exerting Too Much Emotional Labor
It is great to work hard to make the relationship work. Whatever you put in will surely reap a harvest. But, when does too much translate to overexerting yourself? Review the following signs:
1. You are no longer enjoying what you are doing.
You want your relationship to improve and so you do everything that you think is necessary to make it work. It could be improving your talents, learning home skills, improving your looks and style, or making the effort to show affection.
You think that there is a quota to what you should do and you try to hit that target. The problem is, these actions are no longer natural and are already taking its toll on you. And, you already are unhappy about the situation.
2. There is an imbalance.
Emotional investments cannot be measured. You will never be able to say exactly who did more. However, it is possible that one can give so much more while the other is not exerting any effort at all. A little imbalance can be okay, as long as one party is happy about it or as long as the other partner is also trying. But, when the other person is doing so much just to keep the relationship afloat, then there is a gross imbalance and eventually, the scales will tip over.
3. Communication is a problem.
It is hard to verbalize your problem about emotional labor, like when you feel that your partner is not exerting enough. However, you can actually talk about your feelings, like how some actions or the lack of them are making you feel upset, discouraged, or unloved. If your partner really cares, he or she will pick up the cues and will do something about it.
Exerting too much emotional labor without getting anything in return can be bad for you. Eventually, your self-esteem will also be affected. Both parties should be working on a relationship. It should always be a shared responsibility. Do share this post if you found it helpful, and don’t forget to check out the other ones on the blog.