Anastasia Date Complaint: When Is Lying Excusable?

If you ask anyone what they think a healthy relationship needs, they will likely answer any of these three: understanding, communication, and honesty. Today, let’s focus on the last element which is honesty.

Anastasia Date Complaint: When Is Lying Excusable?
When is it ok to lie to your significant other? / Source: thedailybeast.com

Anastasia Date Complaint: Is It Ever OK To Lie To Your Partner?

Lying is a top Anastasia Date complaint. Although everyone believes that honesty is the best policy when it comes to relationships, it’s not always practised. There’s bound to be a small lie told here and there. That’s the truth, and you know it. But, is this excusable even if the lies are white lies?

Julie de Azevedo Hanks, Ph.D., licensed clinical social worker, director of Wasatch Family Therapy says that she doesn’t generally suggest lying to your partner, but there are situations where she thinks lying is fine. It will depend on the specific scenario. Let’s break it down into a list:

1. Money or Finances

Scenario: You went over your weekly budget because you decided to buy yourself a new pair of shoes.

Lying is OK when: a couple has separate bank accounts. When your account is separate, buying anything, from a new pair of shoes to loads of gadgets, is your personal prerogative.

Lying is NOT OK when: a couple shares an account together, and they both agreed on spending the money wisely. Because you have an agreement, be honest about your over-spending.

2. Ex Questions

Scenario: Your partner is asking a lot of details about your ex. He or she is asking about intimate details as well.

Lying is OK when: your partner is asking about intimate details of your past relationships. You can skip minor stuff and just tell him or her more general ones. Your past intimate encounters will likely hurt the person you are with so white lies are fine, in this case.

Lying is NOT OK when: you know that your partner is going to be deeply hurt by details that you do not share with him or her, except intimate information we mentioned earlier. For example, how long your relationship with your ex lasted, if you still communicate with your ex, or if he or she still sees members of your family from time to time.

3. Where You Were

Scenario: Your significant other is asking where you’ve been (a significant other lying about where he or she has been is a common Anastasia Date complaint too).

Lying is OK when: you spent a few hours at a friend’s house. You can leave a few details out; that is totally fine.

Lying is NOT OK when: you know that you’re going to be in trouble because you went someplace you weren’t supposed to. For example, if you went to a club or attended a party.

The Bottom line

So what’s the bottom line with all of these scenarios and with lying? You can tell your partner a white lie when you know it’s something that will not hurt their feelings or affect the relationship.

You absolutely cannot lie when you know that not telling the truth will have major consequences, and will affect your relationship negatively. We hope that this has been helpful. For more dating and relationship tips, check out other posts on our blog.